We were in like. Sometime ago.
Seems like it never happened now if you ask me though. The animosity, the negativity. You probably treat me worse than my worst enemy.
I’m not a big fan of questions. So when you ask me when I ask you what went wrong what I think went wrong, you stall me. Prevent us from talking about the real issue at hand because we spend that time arguing about how you should know me well enough to not return my question with a question. But that was you though. You loved to aggravate me.
It isn’t okay. The way we yell, insult each other like we weren’t once sharing kisses, counting stars, holding hands and doing those things lovers used to do. And now when I see you around, I act like you are some stranger I just ran into.
We should have worked out. We didn’t. And that’s okay.
I can accept that you looked me straight in the eye and lied to me about what you wanted. I can accept that you forgot key dates in my life and tried to make up for it with withering flowers and guilt-tasting chocolates. I can accept that ‘it is who you are’ and ‘you are doing the best you can’. I can accept all of that.
What I cannot accept is you changing ‘who you are’ for some other girl. Treating some other girl like some immortal that fell out the womb of Aphrodite. I remember you used to love arguing with me and sometimes it made us laugh, and other times it made me cry. But I see how you stay mute when she speaks. Listen to her every word, nod your head and make her feel like she’s the one. You never did that with me. I cannot accept that.
Are you listening to me right now?
You don’t have to feel sorry for me. Don’t tell me what it is about her that compels you to be a better person. You always did have an excuse for everything. It was impressive until it started to affect me. No, don’t say you still love me. We cannot work this out. Loyalty was never your finest trait. She’ll be mad just like I was when I walked in on you declaring love for your ex-lover and calling me a rebound. Remember that?
Since you picked up I know she’s not around.
This isn’t me being bitter. I have admitted to myself what I refused to for a long time. We were not meant to work. I don’t want you. At all.
Seeing you love another has hit home a lot of points that I was unwilling scared to face.
I know you still think about the times that we had.
I look at her and think of what it is about her that makes her more of your type than I am. And then I realized that this isn’t about her and neither is it about me. Its all you. And I don’t blame her for loving you. Even a rock would crack at the words you effortlessly reel out. I’m glad you took the wool off. If I’m not good enough for you, then you cannot be good enough for me.
I’m just saying you could do better.