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PITY THYSELF – NOT

Taken at Yogyakarta, Indonesia

Image via Wikipedia

There was once a lady who felt she wasn’t part of this world. “Out of place” she called it, saying she never fit in. Not at school, not at work and clearly not around men. “They never notice me anyway”. “It’s like I’m not even in the room or standing next to someone, everyone walks past, some even walk through me, like you would a ghost”. She then becomes a recluse and refuses to step out of her flat. Quits her job, lives on benefits and orders everything she needs online. Tried to make small talk with the delivery man, just to make herself feel relevant, to get some sort of confirmation that she was indeed a part of this world, worth talking to and making friends with. That didn’t seem to get her anywhere. She then decided that she wasn’t worth a lot. She didn’t last very long when she started toying with the idea of slitting her wrists. She went a little too far and in the end lost her life. She was dead for days before her door was broken down and her body was found in front of her bedroom mirror. She had made herself more invisible. Permanently invisible. Dead.

You are your own thoughts. Your thoughts become actions. Actions become a way of life. Life becomes reality. Our constant need to feel relevant by getting a job, a social life, or being in a relationship begins to shape our thought processes. We forget that we as individuals shape the world we live in and not the other way round. We rely on the exterior to mould the interior, thus playing oblivious to the point where the world relies on us to go round… not literally, that is. Wallowing in self-pity further gives room for remorse and negative thoughts, in extreme cases, ending up like the lady above. Who’s to say that when we slit our wrists, we will make such an impact on the world around us? Or perhaps think we’d be martyred? For what exactly, I ask?

A little jump start for our brains. What will I achieve by striving to feel relevant? A fat pay cheque? That handsome/beautiful partner? The talk of town as the biggest party rocker there ever was? Killing morale, killing the brain, or killing the body is no quick road to relevance. Dying in the process of making yourself visible makes you end up more invisible. No coming back from that.

 
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Posted by on May 4, 2011 in THOUGHTS

 

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AM I?

Happy Days

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We’re supposed to be happy. We’re supposed to do everything we want, how we want and when we want.

We dont know what we want. But we’re supposed to be happy. So i guess thats what we want. Happy.

Happy as can be. As happy as we want to be. As happy as were supposed to be. Just…..happy. Like were supposed to be.

We do what we can to be happy. We make what we want to be happy. We make what we do result in us being happy.

So we’re happy. Wait……are we happy? Not quite. One more thing and then well be happy. One more time and then well definitely be happy. Now……. im defintely happy.

Damn; something happened. Im not happy anymore. I was happy for a while but im not happy anymore. I used to be happy……. but i aint happy no more.

I know what ill do. Ill find something else to make me happy. Once i find it then ill really be happy.

Yes! i found it. Im happy. But how long will i be happy for? Am i really happy that im happy? Or do i just think im happy?

I know what ill do. Ill confirm if im happy. Not just happy happy; really happy.

Hi there!….. do i look happy? Do i seem happy? Do i sound happy?……. You dont know?…… Now thats just sad.

 
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Posted by on April 22, 2011 in THOUGHTS

 

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THE MEANING OF HAPPINESS – By: Martins Hile

Be Happy

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Happiness, to many of us, is synonymous with the good life. This is the impression we get when we see rich people. How could they not be happy when they have private jets, drive some of the most expensive cars, and dine with celebrities? How could they not be happy when they can afford virtually anything they desire to have? As a result of this mindset, we become unhappy and grouchy when our fortunes are on a downward spiral. We do everything we can to be successful in life so that we too can be happy, or so we presume.

The United States’ Declaration of Independence as drafted by Thomas Jefferson, postulates that part of the “unalienable rights” of man are “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. As a result of this dictum, it has been intricately woven into the American culture to actively pursue happiness. Yet, many Americans suffer from chronic depression not because of poverty or disease, but because of the emptiness that ensues from becoming miserably self-absorbed in the vain “pursuit of happiness”. Masses of people around the world actively pursuing happiness have driven themselves into untold misery.

Voltaire said that “happiness is an illusion”. This is especially true if it is contingent upon the capricious forces of nature. You sometimes get this counsel: “Why don’t you do something that makes you happy?” So you eat your favourite food, watch some of your favourite movies; you go on a holiday, experience the climax of sex and then you go back to your previous state of melancholy. In the end, the happiness you sought was illusory.

When we fight off feelings of sadness and pain, we are simply saying that pain and sadness have no value whatsoever. But to be sure, misery has its value. I am not advocating that we should choose to be gloomy. What I am saying is that we can choose not to be grouchy when we are in seemingly adverse situations. It is also of paramount importance for us to understand the limit of happiness. I have no scientific method to prove that there’s virtue in misery other than anecdotal evidence. I have come to realize that while happiness brings complacency, pain creates empathy. You can probably never appreciate and truly care for someone in pain unless you have been through a similar experience or something close to that. Secondly, misery, in my opinion, is the mother of ingenuity. How many times have you really been inspired to do something when you were in an exuberant mood? You are more motivated to do something productive when you are down in the dumps; therefore, if something stirs you to be ingenious, it must have some value.

If happiness is not a corollary of wealth, better still if possessions do not have an intrinsic pleasure-value, how then can we get true happiness? If there is virtue in sorrow, then it must mean that happiness has its limitations. If the pursuit of happiness does not invariably give us happiness, then we must not exert ourselves in order to be happy.

Happiness is certainly realizable, but not by making it our preoccupation. Why don’t we stop trying to be happy, de-emphasise the pursuit of happiness and channel that energy into making other people happy? Why don’t we try changing our negative attitudes to seemingly bad situations?

I read this somewhere: “Don’t wait for the storm to pass; learn to dance in the rain”. The best concept of happiness that I have found is that when happiness is incidental rather than contrived, that is when it is truly genuine.

 
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Posted by on April 19, 2011 in TRUTH

 

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MY LIFE: KNOWING GOD AND UNDERSTANDING MYSELF 5

Cover of "The Pursuit of Happyness (Wides...

Cover via Amazon

I’m sure a lot of us have seen “the pursuit of happiness”. It’s a film with Will Smith and his son, where he plays a poor guy who basically has nothing and loses everything. He lost his wife, he lost his house, and at a point he even lost his shoe.

What interested me about the film though was how it ended. He had been chasing after this job with bull headed determination. From the films presentation, his life depended on him eventually getting that job in order to provide for his son and quit living in a way that could only be described as suffering. But like I said it was the end that I found interesting…..he got the job.

The pursuit of happiness was complete. He now had stability. He would be able to look after his son, and I guess the assumption is that he then lives happily ever after.

When I watched the film I couldn’t help but wonder the effect this would have on people. The entire film was a lie, yet at the same time it seemed so true.

In my short life I’ve learnt that the reason why deception is called deception, is because you don’t realise when you are being deceived. That’s what makes deception deceptive.

I see it like this. “Life is a lie”. Certainly what is commonly known as life is a lie. We have elevated things that have no value and given it a level of importance by deceiving each other. Every time I sit and think about the concept of money I just don’t understand it. It’s the biggest testament to the gullibility of the world. We have elevated a piece of paper and given it value when it is in fact useless. We lie to each other everyday when we say we need money to get food. The truth is money is what prevents us from getting food. In reality a piece of paper has no relationship with how the food is obtained.

The lie is so deep that when we want food, we don’t ask if the food is “available”, we ask if we have enough money to “afford” the food. Animals eat too right? I stand to be corrected, but there are very few animals I see in the wild that pay before they get food to eat. Maybe it’s because animals realise something that human beings don’t. When they are hungry…..they look for food. When human beings are hungry….we look for money.

It is this sort of backward logic that prevents us from seeing lies even when they are right in front of us. There is a lot to think about. Right from birth we teach our kids the lies we have learnt so well; a pursuit for happiness which can never be fulfilled. Ok so he got the job….what next? Ok so they lived happily ever after….what exactly does that mean?

Check out this new and improved toothpaste…..but hang on, I thought the last one was new and improved. You mean this one is newer and more improved? If something that means something today can mean nothing tomorrow…..does it really have value?

Maybe….just maybe…..we are being deceived.

We live with such a superficial perspective that we have quite literally blinded ourselves to the things that are important. As a child I placed a lot of value in bottle tops because I used them to play table soccer. Some kids place a lot of value in action figures, teddy bears and a whole bunch of stuff. When kids grow to adults nothing changes. The only difference is the toys become a bit more expensive. The things of old suddenly lose value and there’s something else that “becomes” more valuable.

Can you live without a mobile phone? Stupid question right? Yet surprisingly I dare say more people will say that they “cant” as opposed to they can. 20 years ago mobile phones barely existed. What were we doing then? How were humans as a race surviving?……its just another lie.

I used to think I could never do without watching TV. So I decided to give it up for a while. After a month of the lack of television it became evident to me that TV was just a waste of time. Don’t get me wrong, im not prescribing something against watching TV. Im just emphasizing the fact that I thought the only way I could keep myself entertained was if there was a TV somewhere; turns out it was a lie.

I haven’t watched an entire football match this year. It can be slightly unnerving in certain circles when everyone is talking football and I really don’t know what’s going on. Its not that I don’t like football as a sport; but I just don’t give in to the level of importance that the world seems to place on it.

I mean, these guys are getting paid thousands of pounds to kick a ball made out of leather. Maybe if I rephrased it it would be put more in perspective. These guys are getting paid thousands of pounds to kick a ball made out of leather! Ok so maybe there’s no need to rephrase it. To me its just, a tad bit strange.

I have friends that live in Nigeria who get genuinely depressed when Arsenal loses. They aren’t even from England yet they get so affected. Some people go as far as committing suicide because they are convinced that if their team has a losing streak, life isn’t worth living anymore.

Is it just me that thinks it’s a bit weird to have a world that values a footballer over a teacher or doctor? Perhaps it’s better to overlook specifics and focus more on the root.

We are being lied to.

Once we realise the extent to which life itself is a lie, our priorities and values are suddenly brought into question.

Is life really all about the pursuit for happiness? Is life really all about getting a job, making some money and having a family?

Does an Olympic gold medal really have any value?……or does mankind simply enjoy living in the deception that we have cleverly created for ourselves?

It’s a serious issue. The world is designed in such a way that it is so easy to never see “life”……simply because we are caught up in life. We have no idea how to relate with God, because our entire focus, thoughts and preoccupations are oriented towards achieving things that are worthless.

We no longer know what has value. We think that happiness has value. That is why we spend what we call life,seeking for things that never bring satisfaction.

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 28, 2011 in TRUTH

 

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