SHIT

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I know its an offensive title; but I figure since most of us have taken a shit in the last couple of days it shouldn’t be too awkward to talk about it. But it is. The moment I mentioned the word you immediately thought I shouldn’t be talking about it. I shouldn’t be speaking such profanity, because shit, is a word that should remain unspoken.

We all shit. Some do it first thing in the morning, some late at night, others only when nature brings its forceful call. Some people don’t even give a shit, but we will all admit that shit, is a very important part of our lives.

Even though its important, we never seem to find the right time to talk about it. It ruins meals because its not appropriate for the dinner table, the bedroom is hardly an ideal place either, but amazingly a lot of people are well known for talking shit, all the time.

I agree. The thought of shit isn’t pleasant. It doesn’t matter if its big, small, light and runny, or with left over traces of your last meal; once your imagination takes hold, a bit like how its doing now, you immediately feel repulsed by the subject.

Interestingly though there are some people who inspect shit for a living. The proper term escapes me, so for now let’s call them ‘shit analysts’. By analysing your shit all kinds of things can be discovered. What food you eat, how healthy you are and what’s lacking in your diet. You may be surprised to hear that I’m no shit analyst myself, but for now let’s pretend I know what I’m talking about; because in an article, the writer is ‘the shit’.

Now that we have established that I am the shit it should give your imagination a bit of rest. From bowel movements we have now shifted to something much cooler, something more manageable, something less disgusting to think about. If you have read up until this point you will be amazed, like me, to discover that you might actually be interested in shit; even though you may end up thinking this article itself, is a piece of shit.

Oh shit. I probably shouldn’t have said that, but like with most things, shit happens.